By Uloma Eze
Lagos is loud. The streets buzz with everything from danfo horns to the latest Afrobeats hit blasting from a roadside shop. Social media is even louder—perfect bodies, luxury lifestyles, and TikTok queens with flawless confidence. But what if you don’t feel like you fit into this perfectly curated world? What if, deep down, you struggle with self-esteem? Welcome to the club. But also, welcome to the revolution—because you’re about to break free.
1. Own Your Story, No Matter What It Looks Like
Self-esteem starts with embracing your journey—whether you were born in the heart of Lekki or deep in a small village in Enugu. Your story is valid. Your struggles are part of your glow-up. The biggest stars, from Tiwa Savage to Tems, all started somewhere. Your uniqueness is your power. So, stop comparing and start owning it.
2. Find Your Squad (And Cut Off the Energy Vampires)
Not everyone deserves access to you. Some people drain your energy with backhanded compliments and subtle jabs. If a “friend” constantly makes you feel less than, cut them off. Instead, surround yourself with people who hype you up, support your dreams, and remind you that you’re a queen—even on your worst days.
3. Unfollow Toxic Beauty Standards
Instagram will have you believing that if you’re not a size 2 with Eurocentric features, you’re not beautiful. That’s a lie. Beauty is diverse, and Nigerian girls have some of the most stunning, powerful features on the planet. Whether you’re dark-skinned like Adut Akech or rocking a bold, curvy figure like Teni, you’re it. Unfollow accounts that make you feel like you need to change and start following pages that celebrate beauty in all shades and sizes.
4. Master the Art of Walking Like You Own the Place
Confidence is 90% attitude, 10% everything else. Even if you don’t feel like the most confident girl in the room, act like it. Shoulders back, head high, and walk like you own the place. The way you carry yourself changes everything—from how people perceive you to how you start seeing yourself.
5. Level Up Your Skills and Chase That Bag
There’s nothing sexier than a girl with purpose. Whether it’s learning a skill, starting a side hustle, or pushing your education, confidence grows when you invest in yourself. Take that online course, start that YouTube channel, or turn your passion into profit. Financial independence isn’t just a flex—it’s a confidence boost like no other.
6. Talk to Yourself Like You Would Talk to Your Bestie
Would you call your best friend “ugly” or “not good enough”? No? Then why do you say that to yourself? The way you talk to yourself matters. Start replacing those negative thoughts with affirmations. Try this: Every morning, look in the mirror and say, “I am smart, I am beautiful, and I am unstoppable.” It might feel weird at first, but trust me, it works.
7. Remember, No One Has It All Figured Out
Even the most confident girls have moments of doubt. The difference? They don’t let it define them. Life is messy, self-esteem is a journey, and no one (not even that perfect influencer) has it all figured out. So, take it easy on yourself. Growth takes time, and every step forward—no matter how small—is a win.
The Bottom Line
You are more than enough. You don’t need validation from social media, toxic friends, or society’s outdated standards. Your power is in being unapologetically you. So, go out there, take up space, and let the world know—this Nigerian queen is here to stay.
featured image by Photo by RDNE Stock project
